Once we returned home, Rick and I knew that we had to make a decision to continue to move forward in pursuing long-term mission service in Haiti or to stay put in Sabetha, KS and let God use us here. We continued in prayer and study of the word, but we didn't talk about it much between the two of us. We were both thinking about it and I know we were praying about it, but for various reasons, we weren't quite ready to make the decision. I was busy getting re-connected with our children and getting caught up with household duties. Rick was distracted with work, travel for work and some issues within our local church.
In retrospect, we can see how God was continuing to prepare our hearts and minds. During this year, Rick has been using Oswald Chambers My Utmost for His Highest as part of his daily devotions. If you are familiar with this book or have it, look through the devotions for September; during this month, the theme of the devotions is centered on being a missionary and being called to service. This theme continues into October as well. Through some of these devotions, Rick was being molded to follow God and answer a call to service that he heard many months ago. While Rick was seeing some direction in his devotions, I was clinging to my mantra of "I don't want to go, but I am willing if this is truly God's will for our family." For the first two weeks that we were home, I wanted a decision to be made, but I wanted Rick to make it and I would be willing to follow his lead.
During the next couple of weeks, we continued to be busy with Rick traveling for work and getting ready for the many birthdays we have in October. (Mine and Krae's on the 5th, Rick's on the 9th, our anniversary on the 7th and Selah's bday on the 19th) I was also doing some travel to be with my Dad for doctor appointments related to his cancer treatment. It was a busy time, but God was working on our hearts. Rick continued to feel led to pursue this service and I began to be overwhelmed with God asking me to step out and follow Him.
A portion of scripture that spoke to me during this time is John 21. Simon Peter and some of the other disciples had gone about their own business and were out fishing. While on their own, they caught nothing. Then, Jesus came in the morning and told them to cast on the other side and they caught 153 fish. After they had dined, Jesus asked Peter three times (remember he denied Him three times), "Lovest thou me?" and when Peter replied that he did, Jesus instructed him to "Feed My Lambs" and "Feed My Sheep". Peter was grieved by the Lord asking him about his devotion three times and the Lord responded with:
Feed my sheep. Verily, verily, I say unto thee, when thou wast young thou girdedst thyself and walkedst whither thou wouldest: but when thou shalt be old, thou shalt stretch forth thy hands and another shall gird thee and carry thee whither thou wouldst not. This spake he, signifying by what death he should glorify God. And when he had spoken this, he saith unto him, Follow Me. John 21:18-19
Upon reflection of this passage, I had to ask myself if I was following God or just willing to follow my husband. If we love our Lord Jesus, are we willing to feed HIS sheep in the place that he asks us to go? The future of mission service may be uncertain and fearful, but if God is directing it, we can confidently follow Christ! I came to the realization that God wasn't asking me to follow my husband in mission service, but to step out beside Rick and serve with him. Yes, Rick was called first, but God was calling both of us along with our family. For the next few days, I was consumed by these thoughts and the realization that it was God's will for our family to serve in Haiti.
I don't remember the exact day, yet I remember that it was in early October. Rick came home after being gone and I was about to burst - I knew that we needed to move forward, but I didn't want to tell him. All he had to do was look at me and I think he knew what was in my heart. Rick's words to me were, "We aren't going to get away from this, are we?" We talked some more and realized that we had both been feeling the same overwhelming guidance to move forward into mission service in Haiti.
We continued to pray and talk about our decision for a few more days, then we contacted the members of the Hospital Lumiere Governance Board (many of them were in Haiti at the time for a meeting) to let them know that we were willing to enter mission service at Hospital Lumiere in Haiti if they felt we were qualified to serve there.
Rick and I met with the board in early November and at that time we were approved for missionary service and Rick was appointed to serve as the Hospital Administrator at Hospital Lumiere. This appointed was announced on November 16th.
Ironically, November 16th was the day we learned that my Dad's cancer had progressed and that surgery was no longer an option for him. The next post tells more about my Dad.
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